Family May 31, 2008

Researching my family tree = near impossible. With the older members of the family no longer here I can’t ask anyone and it would seem, from records, that we’re a very sporadic family. We crop up lots in one decade and then never in the hundred years before or after that. I don’t know what’s going on. I was heartened when I was looking through stuff and found my Nan had also tried to do the task I am doing. She didn’t get very far either bless her. I want to know why she was trying to, seeing as it was her husband’s family she was researching rather than her own. I miss her a lot. She was a very special Nan. My Dad is taking me to look at church records and graves next week to help me on my mission. I’m going to take her some flowers.

I think my Dad likes that I’m researching it all. It’s not often people take an interest in him and his family so it’s nice for him I suppose. Stressful for me though. The most annoying family ever. Saying that though….my family tree does now have 60 members, nearly all of them very much from the past. So I am not doing too badly.

I think the reason I am so determined to find out is because I’ve nothing else of any structure to do. I am looking for a job but even having a job won’t help my mind….I like to research and get stuck into things and find things out and this is a way of satisfying that whilst I’m not at Uni. You could also argue it’s regression….looking lots in the past to help the stresses of the present. I think I explain too many of my behaviours as regression. Maybe.

My exam results come out mid-June How scary. I want to know now.

I want a Domesday Book. They’re really expensive though. But I want one. Just because.

I love Beanhead. May 28, 2008

My Jon Schmidt CD came! It’s most beautiful music I must say. QI also came a few days ago, I was most amused when it turned out the series I had ordered had the biscuits and cakes question!

Went to see Indiana Jones yesterday. It was very good but I wasn’t keen on the ending much. Not the very end. Just what it all turned out to be. I did love the fact that wonderful Beanhead gave a discount to the food I gave to Mark to go get. I think I will get Beanhead to be my friend. The best part of Indiana Jones was seeing a Prince Caspian trailer. It made me very happy. I can’t wait to see it (again). I have heard that Prince Caspian isn’t doing as well at the first film. I don’t expect it to, it’s a lesser known book, it’s too dark for the younger children and came out at the wrong time…just as Indiana came out. Indiana fans have been waiting 20 years for that to come out, so of course it’ll blow Caspian out of the water. But at least all the people in the UK that go see Indiana will see a Prince Caspian trailer…hopefully drawing more people in when it gets released.

Before I went to sleep last night…I read the rest of House of Echoes. It’s a bit scary. Probably not best to read before going to sleep. I didn’t have nightmares though, I dreamt that there was lots of rain and it was coming in to the house ‘cos there was so much and there was also thunder…Beanhead appeared at some point in my dream as well. How amusing. I woke up to hear that there had been a storm, with looaaaddss of rain, so that’ll be why I dreamt that then.

Amazing May 26, 2008

Has been my word of the weekend. Today I even called my cheese pasty amazing. It really was though.

Today is my brother’s birthday. (And also Joy’s) We’ve had some extended family round….it was a yawn-fest. My family are nice enough but rather dull. (The FP, Baz and children excluded) And whenever we all get together everyone acts more posh. Especially my mother and my Auntie. But it has been good, I got cake…biscuits and sweeties. It’s been wonderful. The FP came round later with her family. Affaf is the funniest. At his nursery he tells everyone he has a sister called Freddie. He also has two imaginary girl ”brown babies” who were called Adam and Adam but are now the Two Michael’s. They only tiny, they fit in the palm of his hand and live in his shop. Freddie is on holiday.

I’m currently resisting the temptation to watch Prince Caspian. I shouldn’t have even watched it yesterday, I should learn to be patient, but it’s over a month away and it’s killing me! It’s the most amazing film ever. Seriously. I’ll do a proper blog about it when I’ve officially seen it….but gosh…I couldn’t sleep afterwards ‘cos I was too hyped up. Made me cry.

The only thing I don’t like about Narnia…the books mainly of course seeing as they came first….is that Peter can’t come back after Prince Caspian. Peter was always my favourite character…before I saw the BBC films…and the new movies. So I was a bit gutted when I read he couldn’t return. I didn’t really ever like Susan…so she didn’t bother me. I’m glad they all return in the Last Battle…although it’s terribly sad to think the next time you see them is when they have died

I was talking to Sir Sue last night, and I came to the Psychological conclusion that my love for Narnia might be a form of regression. I’ve always loved Narnia, from when I first read the books when I was teeny, to when I saw the BBC films (which I now think are truly awful, how I was ever impressed by them I will never know) and of course now with the movies and still the books. But seeing as my love started when I was a child and everything was much simpler and easier then, it may just be my brain’s (well….ego technically, but we shan’t go too much into Freud) way of escaping. Sir Sue agreed with me on this saying that she believed films to indeed be a form of escapism.

I don’t really care what the reason is really. I’m quite happy loving Narnia.

I’m going to the cinema tomorrow, to see Indiana Jones….or Iron Man. I want to see the former more than the latter but we shall see. Should be good anyways.

Rotten Sand May 22, 2008

Yesterday I was discussing the classifications of cakes and biscuits….and chocolate bars and biscuits. They’re all somewhat blurred. I do now fully believe Jaffa Cakes to be indeed cakes. Whilst looking for information to try and solve the mystery, I found a really wonderful website. Click here to go to it. It goes through many many different types of biscuit. My absolute favourite quote from that site: “The pale biscuit core quietly goes about its business, providing a crunchy vehicle on which the chocolate can ride.” This was a description of a Cadbury Finger.

As you can probably tell, I have nothing more meaningful to do. I will start looking for a job soon. Promise.However today I have spent the day trying to fix my broken computer….I believe it to be OK now, and seeing the FP after her exams. She has a bit of a smelly foot issue though….in that they smell terrible. It’s her shoes. The smell is like that of rotten sand. In my mind anyway.

I saw Affaf today also, he’s lovely. Although he made me read him “My Big Truck” over and over again. There’s not much of a plotline to that story to be honest, it never really climaxes, but the pictures are very engaging. Affaf told me he had a truck called Monty.

I ordered the Prince Caspian soundtrack yesterday. Well, pre-ordered. I’m very excited. QI and Jon Schmidt still have not come. The ‘rents come back from their holiday tomorrow. But I don’t think they know when their flight is or anything…as they instructed my to find out in the early morning and tell them. Jolly silly if you ask me.

I believe it to be Laine’s birthday.Many happy returns Laine!

 

Your face is like a sunflower May 21, 2008

I’ve had a really amusing day today.

That Prince Caspian looooooong trailer is amazing. I really am excited. It even has the Prince Caspian and Susan kiss in it, at 3.23.  

I’m going to the cinema on Friday. I don’t know what to see.

I want my QI DVD.

I’ve nothing else to say, other than to wish the FP and Laine good luck for their exams tomorrow! 

Musings…ramblings…whatever you want to call them. May 20, 2008

I’ve just been looking out of the window.

It dawned on me when I was watching a tree blowing in the wind how beautiful the world actually is. I don’t always feel like that or even think about it. But it’s amazing.

 I love the way the sun breaks through the clouds, how it always shines through radiantly, like the perfect constant to today’s fast changing world. I love the birds singing, like it’s nature’s very own song, they seem so happy and content. I love how the trees dance in the wind, how the colour of their leaves contrasts so sharply and beautifully to the clear blue of the sky or how they reach up tall to the clouds.

Our lives, our possessions, our concrete messes…they all come and go. Nature…unpredictable, you can’t tame it…yet it’s the only thing that’s always constant. And is more beautiful than anything we can make. It will always be there. However much we abuse it, take it for granted, ignore it, it will always be there, standing strong and unmoved by our materialistic lives. It’ll always stand strong under us, over us and around us. Words can’t describe how wonderful nature is. It completely parallels with God. Well He did create it after all. But He’s always there standing strong. Awesome.

Maybe we’re living in our very own Narnia….but we’re all to bothered with convenience and material desires to stop and look at how beautiful and giving our world is, beneath the empty concrete shells we build on top of it and around it.

I feel truly inspired I want to go write a story….or draw a picture or write a poem.

Bored May 20, 2008

Is a Jaffa Cake a biscuit or a cake? I know it has cake in the title….but they live in the biscuit aisle. Well anyway, they are seriously the best biscuits/cakes ever. I love them. They taste especially good with Weetabix and milk.

Eurovision is on Saturday. I am a bit of a Eurovision geek, I think it’s awesome! Well until all the tactical voting starts and then I get annoyed. I definitely know we won’t win this year though with the entry we’re putting in. We should take note from the Ukraine’s entry last year and put in something like:

Mrs Doubtfire much? That’s what Eurovision is all about. Who’s hosting it this year? Serbia? Yes I think Serbia.

QI didn’t come today, I was most disappointed. I waited for the postman and everything. Neither did Jon Schmidt but I only ordered that yesterday.

Thus I end this pointless blog. Took up 10 minutes of the most boring day ever though.

 

 

No longer a Fresher May 19, 2008

Hardy har. I have finished my Fresher year now. The FP is still a Fresher till September. Ha. Ha. The exam…oh dear. The Biology stuff = easy. The Cognitive stuff…half of it I’d never seen in all of my life so there was a lot of guessing going on. There was less tension in the exam place today seeing as it was our last exam.

This year at Uni has been interesting. I’ve grown as a person so much. I’m not as angry as I used to be, I’m quite mellow. I’m more confident…I have a higher self esteem nowadays and I’ve done things I never would have thought possible a year back. Some things people take for granted, like walking to town on their own. I never used to be able to do that. I couldn’t walk anywhere and now I can (well I could in a physical sense, just psychologically I couldn’t). I feel quite proud. Meeting and talking to new different people I couldn’t do either but now I can, with some ease. I’m still quite shy and that, I’ve not become some over confident person who loves themselves, but that’s just part of my personality. The main thing is, my social phobia no longer rules me, I rule it. It still tries to get me occasionally, but I’ve learnt how to ignore it now. Of course I have some regrets from this year and I’m not exactly where I would’ve liked to be, but I’m actually very happy. I feel accomplished. Next year will throw up even more challenges, but instead of being scared of them, I’m quite looking forward to them, to see how far I can go. I do still get sad and stuff sometimes, but not like how I did. The mood swings I get nowadays are far more “normal” in that I’m not how I was (haha how cryptic), they’re just normal feelings of being a bit down. Like everyone gets some days. I want to go on rambling even more….but I won’t bore people. I’ll end this paragraph by simply stating the change in me is testimony to God. I don’t think I could’ve done it without Him.

On a more light-hearted note….I’ve ordered a QI DVD (the B series) because I LOVE QI. It’s amazing. Stephen Fry is awesome and Alan Davies well makes me laugh. You could say I find it Quite Interesting I can’t wait til it gets here. I’ve also just ordered a Jon Schmidt CD. He’s a piano player. He’s amazing, I love his songs.

Another blog with no official Narnia  mention. Don’t worry, I’ve not gone off it at all, I just don’t feel inclined to write about it today.

Yesterday, someone used a google translator thing to view my blog in French. I also viewed my blog in French despite the fact I know no French. It really amused me.

I have a pingback in my spam queue. I don’t know what a pingback is. I’m bored already.

Makes me cry every time May 18, 2008

Lifehouse - Everything Skit

You have to watch it all the way through.

I love it a lot.

Exam tomorrow. Last one. Hardest one. Nervous. But looking forward to it all being over. Yipppeeee

No Narnia mention.

 

Caution: Rant. May 14, 2008

Getting to sleep last night = impossible. I was perfectly comfortable and very tired but I just lay there, hour after hour. The more tired I felt, the more stupid my solutions to my insomnia were. One in particular, I decided that maybe I wasn’t wearing the right pyjamas and I’d be more comfortable in some others. Cue pyjama change in the dark. After a while of lying in bed in my new pyjamas, I decided they weren’t working for me and so changed back. I also discovered I had a hangnail on my little finger. I tried pulling it out making it quite sore so I decided to put some germoline on it. However I wasn’t quite sure where I left it. Cue late night mission to find germoline. After about 20 minutes of looking…in the dark with only my phone for light (I felt it inappropriate to turn on the light thinking it would make me feel more awake) I found it. Satisfied that the pain of my hangnail had gone, I lay there, just musing about things. In particular about a programme I had seen earlier about the tallest women in the world. As I am more tuned into the metric system, I found myself trying to work out how big 7ft 9inches actually was. First working out how much an inch was, then trying to make it into 12. I also had numerous debates with myself, eventually drifting off to sleep only to be awoken early in the morning by the front door slamming. Cue annoyance.

I am revising today. About the brain. It’s quite interesting but I’m often finding myself staring at my notes in a comatose like state. I spoke to Abbie yesterday and she is very worried about the impending exam. I am not at this current moment, I save my stress for the night before it would seem.

I read today, on Teletext, that some man from the Vatican says that aliens can exist and we shouldn’t rule out thinking that they’re out there and this doesn’t conflict with believing in God. I’m not sure what to think about that really. Is it being very narrow minded to rule out the existence of aliens? Is believing in them contradicting believing in God? I’ve no idea. I have to say though that the Vatican itself irritates me anyway, with their golden city and richness and praying to Jesus’ mum and everything else. I think they have a bit of a weird take on the Bible, I know they believe that Jesus is the saviour and everything, but all the extra….hmmm.

WARNING: RANTAGE

I have to rant.  When I was reading some of my Derren Brown book today, there was an advert in the back for a book entitled “Letter to a Christian Nation: A challenge to Faith” by Richard Dawkins. I want to know why people who don’t believe in God etc, try so damn hard to get others to stop believing and seem intent on trying to disprove that God exists. It’s like they really can’t hack that people believe in something, something that makes them happy. Even if they don’t believe in it themselves, they should just let it be. I know many atheists will argue that a lot of Christians don’t leave them alone and try and convert them, but atheists do the same to me and other Christians, always trying to disprove it. Like even nowadays, evolution is taught as straight fact, when it’s not been proved and the creation point of view is taught merely as philosophical in RE classes that no one likes. So before atheists try and tell Christians to leave them alone, I think they should leave me and my beliefs alone.

And, it annoys me, that the one faith that tries to be disproved more than any of the other faiths is Christianity. Just leave it alone!

And also, I was watching Flyleaf videos on youtube, and browsing the comments. They are a Christian band. This influences their songs. Yet the non-believers seem really offended by this and constantly argue that the meaning of the song is something quite different or abstract but is DEFINITELY not influenced by Jesus or anything like that. Some person even wrote about how a song, (which I interpret to be about God being all around, like a worship type song, mainly because the words are obviously to God and she mentions angels etc etc), was to do with Pagans and Gods. Why would a Christian write a song that sings about how good it is to have a Pagan God all around them?

End of rant.

ALSO: My William Moseley signed photo came today. It did, it did, it did. It’s hand signed! Happy much????? Rather!

Now I’m going to go finish off revising, oh joy.