Completely inspired by this and therefore the idea is completely ripped off from Stephen Fry. But nevertheless, it seems blog-worthy, non? I chose to write to my 15 year old self as 5 years ago is a nice round figure and 4 years seemed too recent…
A letter to my 15 year old self (a lot of what I probably want to say won’t be said….privacy yeah?) *Tries to think back to being 15, despite only being 20*
Dear Me,
How do you start a letter to yourself? I know I used to and still do wonder if the future me ever thinks of the past me……I do! And will….boy this is confusing. So, hello!
I know things seem really tough at the moment. Things will get tougher for a while, especially in terms of finding out who your friends are and who you’re better off without. They’ll also get tougher when you start to realise you don’t look like every other girl, in that you try to look a bit like a boy most of the time. 5 years from now though, you will have embraced your femininity and actually start to feel fine about the way you look.
School is hard for you at the moment, I know. And you’re fully embracing the “angst ridden teen” status that society seems to subject to all those under 20. You’re recognising that you’re not like everyone else, everyone else seem to be able to do things on their own….and you don’t. Ultimately, this will cause a lot of problems for you I’m sorry to say. But it isn’t your fault. People just don’t understand. But they will. And it will get better. It’ll take time though, but each step you take is one more step to freedom.
Someone who has always been in your life will come into your life even more so in a few years. Your good old sister (whom we now call the FP for the record). You have to try listen to her a bit more, she speaks sense sometimes and isn’t as moody as she makes out.
You certainly have the right attitude towards your school work though, keep up with that ‘cos you’re going to do so well in your GCSEs. Just remember when you get your results, that 3 B grades isn’t a bad thing. And just so you know, Health and Social Care might seem nice and easy now, but it’s dreadfully boring at A Level….I’d advise against taking it. Take History or German, much better.
I think you should also enjoy the nice peachy skin you have now, it’s not always going to be that way. Focus on your good points and the rest will catch up with you in time, for sure. I know you cry a lot now. And have developed a hatred for human contact. But hugs are actually quite nice from those you like. I promise things will get better, but summer is going to be hard for you. Ignore all the people who pick on you though, you’ll come to see how insecure they actually are of themselves soon enough.
Ah I remember the crush at this time, you still like Sven* (Name changed) non? Well let me tell you, when you get to about 18 things will be great with Sven for a time, actual reciprocal lust, but it so isn’t worth it. Between you and me (even though you are me)….oh and the readers of the blog….he turns out to be not so great, he’s now engaged as a joke and is very much into drugs. But y’know, experiences experiences, they all help in the long run. It may not be worth it but you gained a lot of knowledge from it. At least you know what not to look for now.
You’re going to miss school a lot when you leave. It’s actually quite amusing….you cry loads on your last day of Year 11, then begin to loath going in 6th form. You don’t cry on the last day of 6th form, no one does. Although you do cry the last time you see Rosie and Daniel before you go to Uni. They do too. It’s really hard, brings tears to my eyes even now. You won’t stay in touch with everyone….people you think will stay in touch with you don’t and more surprisingly, those who you don’t expect to keep in touch with you actually do. You make really good friends with Joy for the record, you should go speak to her now, she’s very lovely. Don’t talk to her about spoons though, she’s not developed that pretend obsession yet. Daniel stays a good friend too, despite your ups and downs. When he’s trying to keep which university he chose a secret…know this from me….he chose Cambridge, not Wolverhampton like he pretended.
One last thing before I go. You should spend more time with Nan. Get in touch with the FP, she goes to see her. She’s not going to live much longer and you will regret not getting to know her a bit better.
And with that, I’ll leave you to it, it’s a Friday for you, I guess you’ll be relieved it’s the weekend. You might go to town with Daniel tomorrow. Enjoy your weekend and try not to worry too much about PE on Monday, it’ll be tennis anyway and you like that 
Oh and always remember….your faith is as important in 5 years time as it is to you now.
Love to you…or to me,
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
(NB I can’t be bothered to spell check, or to grammar check or to even make anything emphasised in italics….sorry)
