Irked August 25, 2008
I’ve not blogged in a while. Apparently. According to the FP.
Today I feel irked. At many a thing. Ranging from people, always feeling ill, to the Olympic closing ceremony. What irked me about that was the use of Leona Lewis. She is a good singer, I will happily admit that. But to me, using her was showcasing how good Britain is at reality TV shows and how we have a load of completely manufactured artists. Did we not have anyone who has been around for a bit longer, has a bit more charisma and wasn’t just found off a television show?
Anyways. I was thinking earlier. This time last year I was waiting to start University. Waiting to say goodbye to my closest friends and wave hello to a new little bit of my life. Now I’m waiting to say goodbye to a few of them again, before they go back to Uni. But a few have drifted. I’m not really friends with them anymore, not intentionally, these things just happen. I don’t feel sad about it though. I’m looking forward to the second year of Uni.
In 10 years time, I wonder where I will be. I’m hoping, at this point in my life, that I will be a Clinical Psychologist. Dr Skellybones. And that I will live in a nice little town like Stroud. In a lovely house.
Another thing on my mind: I must get back into is praying a bit more and re-establishing my relationship with Jesus. I do still pray, every day in fact, but not for very long. I don’t spend a lot of time with Him really. As much as I should. This time last year I was reading the Bible everyday and everything. I know Jesus hasn’t changed at all. It’s just me. Sometimes I’m a bit of a poor Christian. Sometimes I just find it a bit hard.
I’m in a moaning mood today. Can you tell?
I read this today… July 3, 2008
When we say “Yes I doubt, but I do believe in God’s love more than I trust my own doubts,” it becomes possible for God to act.
- Metropolitan Anthony Bloom, “The Essence of Prayer”
I liked it. So I thought I would post it.
Musings…ramblings…whatever you want to call them. May 20, 2008
I’ve just been looking out of the window.
It dawned on me when I was watching a tree blowing in the wind how beautiful the world actually is. I don’t always feel like that or even think about it. But it’s amazing.
I love the way the sun breaks through the clouds, how it always shines through radiantly, like the perfect constant to today’s fast changing world. I love the birds singing, like it’s nature’s very own song, they seem so happy and content. I love how the trees dance in the wind, how the colour of their leaves contrasts so sharply and beautifully to the clear blue of the sky or how they reach up tall to the clouds.
Our lives, our possessions, our concrete messes…they all come and go. Nature…unpredictable, you can’t tame it…yet it’s the only thing that’s always constant. And is more beautiful than anything we can make. It will always be there. However much we abuse it, take it for granted, ignore it, it will always be there, standing strong and unmoved by our materialistic lives. It’ll always stand strong under us, over us and around us. Words can’t describe how wonderful nature is. It completely parallels with God. Well He did create it after all. But He’s always there standing strong. Awesome.
Maybe we’re living in our very own Narnia….but we’re all to bothered with convenience and material desires to stop and look at how beautiful and giving our world is, beneath the empty concrete shells we build on top of it and around it.
I feel truly inspired 
I want to go write a story….or draw a picture or write a poem.
No longer a Fresher May 19, 2008
Hardy har. I have finished my Fresher year now. The FP is still a Fresher till September. Ha. Ha. The exam…oh dear. The Biology stuff = easy. The Cognitive stuff…half of it I’d never seen in all of my life so there was a lot of guessing going on. There was less tension in the exam place today seeing as it was our last exam.
This year at Uni has been interesting. I’ve grown as a person so much. I’m not as angry as I used to be, I’m quite mellow. I’m more confident…I have a higher self esteem nowadays and I’ve done things I never would have thought possible a year back. Some things people take for granted, like walking to town on their own. I never used to be able to do that. I couldn’t walk anywhere and now I can (well I could in a physical sense, just psychologically I couldn’t). I feel quite proud. Meeting and talking to new different people I couldn’t do either but now I can, with some ease. I’m still quite shy and that, I’ve not become some over confident person who loves themselves, but that’s just part of my personality. The main thing is, my social phobia no longer rules me, I rule it. It still tries to get me occasionally, but I’ve learnt how to ignore it now. Of course I have some regrets from this year and I’m not exactly where I would’ve liked to be, but I’m actually very happy. I feel accomplished. Next year will throw up even more challenges, but instead of being scared of them, I’m quite looking forward to them, to see how far I can go. I do still get sad and stuff sometimes, but not like how I did. The mood swings I get nowadays are far more “normal” in that I’m not how I was (haha how cryptic), they’re just normal feelings of being a bit down. Like everyone gets some days. I want to go on rambling even more….but I won’t bore people. I’ll end this paragraph by simply stating the change in me is testimony to God. I don’t think I could’ve done it without Him.
On a more light-hearted note….I’ve ordered a QI DVD (the B series) because I LOVE QI. It’s amazing. Stephen Fry is awesome and Alan Davies well makes me laugh. You could say I find it Quite Interesting 
I can’t wait til it gets here. I’ve also just ordered a Jon Schmidt CD. He’s a piano player. He’s amazing, I love his songs.
Another blog with no official Narnia mention. Don’t worry, I’ve not gone off it at all, I just don’t feel inclined to write about it today.
Yesterday, someone used a google translator thing to view my blog in French. I also viewed my blog in French despite the fact I know no French. It really amused me.
I have a pingback in my spam queue. I don’t know what a pingback is. I’m bored already.
Makes me cry every time May 18, 2008
Lifehouse – Everything Skit
You have to watch it all the way through.
I love it a lot.
Exam tomorrow. Last one. Hardest one. Nervous. But looking forward to it all being over. Yipppeeee 
No Narnia mention.
Caution: Rant. May 14, 2008
Getting to sleep last night = impossible. I was perfectly comfortable and very tired but I just lay there, hour after hour. The more tired I felt, the more stupid my solutions to my insomnia were. One in particular, I decided that maybe I wasn’t wearing the right pyjamas and I’d be more comfortable in some others. Cue pyjama change in the dark. After a while of lying in bed in my new pyjamas, I decided they weren’t working for me and so changed back. I also discovered I had a hangnail on my little finger. I tried pulling it out making it quite sore so I decided to put some germoline on it. However I wasn’t quite sure where I left it. Cue late night mission to find germoline. After about 20 minutes of looking…in the dark with only my phone for light (I felt it inappropriate to turn on the light thinking it would make me feel more awake) I found it. Satisfied that the pain of my hangnail had gone, I lay there, just musing about things. In particular about a programme I had seen earlier about the tallest women in the world. As I am more tuned into the metric system, I found myself trying to work out how big 7ft 9inches actually was. First working out how much an inch was, then trying to make it into 12. I also had numerous debates with myself, eventually drifting off to sleep only to be awoken early in the morning by the front door slamming. Cue annoyance.
I am revising today. About the brain. It’s quite interesting but I’m often finding myself staring at my notes in a comatose like state. I spoke to Abbie yesterday and she is very worried about the impending exam. I am not at this current moment, I save my stress for the night before it would seem.
I read today, on Teletext, that some man from the Vatican says that aliens can exist and we shouldn’t rule out thinking that they’re out there and this doesn’t conflict with believing in God. I’m not sure what to think about that really. Is it being very narrow minded to rule out the existence of aliens? Is believing in them contradicting believing in God? I’ve no idea. I have to say though that the Vatican itself irritates me anyway, with their golden city and richness and praying to Jesus’ mum and everything else. I think they have a bit of a weird take on the Bible, I know they believe that Jesus is the saviour and everything, but all the extra….hmmm.
WARNING: RANTAGE
I have to rant. When I was reading some of my Derren Brown book today, there was an advert in the back for a book entitled “Letter to a Christian Nation: A challenge to Faith” by Richard Dawkins. I want to know why people who don’t believe in God etc, try so damn hard to get others to stop believing and seem intent on trying to disprove that God exists. It’s like they really can’t hack that people believe in something, something that makes them happy. Even if they don’t believe in it themselves, they should just let it be. I know many atheists will argue that a lot of Christians don’t leave them alone and try and convert them, but atheists do the same to me and other Christians, always trying to disprove it. Like even nowadays, evolution is taught as straight fact, when it’s not been proved and the creation point of view is taught merely as philosophical in RE classes that no one likes. So before atheists try and tell Christians to leave them alone, I think they should leave me and my beliefs alone.
And, it annoys me, that the one faith that tries to be disproved more than any of the other faiths is Christianity. Just leave it alone!
And also, I was watching Flyleaf videos on youtube, and browsing the comments. They are a Christian band. This influences their songs. Yet the non-believers seem really offended by this and constantly argue that the meaning of the song is something quite different or abstract but is DEFINITELY not influenced by Jesus or anything like that. Some person even wrote about how a song, (which I interpret to be about God being all around, like a worship type song, mainly because the words are obviously to God and she mentions angels etc etc), was to do with Pagans and Gods. Why would a Christian write a song that sings about how good it is to have a Pagan God all around them?
End of rant.
ALSO: My William Moseley signed photo came today. It did, it did, it did. It’s hand signed! Happy much????? Rather!
Now I’m going to go finish off revising, oh joy.
I update this far too often… April 27, 2008
I very much prefer it to Facebook and Myspace…they bore me, you can’t really express yourself on there. Or at least I can’t.
I felt sad yesterday evening…I felt as though I had let myself down in not being a stronger person. However today I feel it is best to make the best of a bad situation. I’ll just have to make sure I do exceedingly well in what I am doing and not worry about what I haven’t achieved. Easier said than done.
I’ve been thinking today….about the links between Narnia and Christianity…and Aslan and God. I know some people think the books are based on Plato. I don’t. I love how the depiction of Aslan seems to really have caught the character of God….like He’s not safe, but He is good. Also there’s the bit in the Magician’s Nephew, where Digory is going to the valley and he says about being really hungry and how someone should have arranged their meals. Polly says something like “Wouldn’t he know without being asked?” referring to Aslan knowing of their need of food….and Fledge says something along the lines of “I’ve no doubt he would, but I’ve the idea that he likes to be asked.” I think that’s what the Lord is like. Maybe. Then there’s the whole Turkish Delight and temptation thing…like Edmund was never satisfied he always wanted more. The end of Dawn Treaderis so much more explicit about it in my opinion. At the End of the World, they meet a lamb, who changes into Aslan himself….of course Jesus is commonly referred to as both lion and lamb. And then there’s the whole thing about Lucy being sad that she won’t see Aslan again….and Aslan tells her she will in her world (our world) because he is there also, he just has a different name.
I’m rambling on today. I apologise. I’m tired and my brain feels woolly from trying to cram too much information into it. Ironically I’m just about to go learn about memory. Hip hip hooray.
Quoteage: Alice: If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn’t be, and what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?
I find Alice in Wonderland most strange…but yet very interesting. I might read it again soon.
